Pigs! Herds of pigs, sweeping majestically across the sunlit sky! The Devil going to work on a snowplough! My diary says "Sunday" for the rest of February!
Yes, it's true. England have beaten Australia in a game of cricket.
Did I say beat? Beat, thrashed, stomped, wiped the floor with, stuffed solidly, bowled them out! Our opening batsmen gets a century, theirs gets a duck.
Finally, a set of cricketers turn up in England gear. So, as the Aussies would say, Where the bloody hell where you?