Hello. I'm quite incredibly drunk.
Eventually, I'm sure I will learn that it is not a good idea to drink an entire bottle of whisky all by myself. Part of that is needing friends with enough taste to realise that Laphroig is really high quality stuff and does not smell of Savlon (you'd think a bloke who's half Scottish would have the sense?). Anyway, with people like this sneering at my choice of beverage, I drank the whole thing myself. Which isn't good.
Anyway, if any of this is insensible or just plain bizarre, don't criticise, just marvel that someone as sloshed as me can even work out how to turn one of these computer things on in the first place. In the meantime, I shall drink water in the hope it will make me less eager for death tomorrow morning.